Not Sure I Even Have One

I'm really busy at work. No...REALLY busy.  I've been running at 100  mph in four different directions and it's been this way since June and it really took its toll on me last month.  I had a bit of a breakdown on Friday that I'm pretty sure chipped away at my well-being.  It wasn't good.  It still isn't.

It made me realize some things that I already knew about myself.  Things I haven't really looked at for a long time.  They're still not pretty.  They're still ugly as fuck.  I don't like how they're still there, burrowed and waiting.


All I know is, something inside me shifted.  And i'm trying to do some things differently now.  I don't know if this will be a phase or if this will be something that sticks.  All I know is, a part of me broke down and maybe to get as far away from that as possible, I'm mixing things up. Changing things. Small things in small ways.  All I know is, I can't keep doing the same things and hoping for a different outcome.  I've been unhappy with so many things in my life for so long, it's fucking ridiculous and sad.  

Maybe I found my rock bottom???


Dan Longman said…

I can relate to this post so much.

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