Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday but i dont care. I am just sad about it although everything in my drunken body tells me to be happy and embrace my age because if you dont age that means you have died. I am not dead. I am very alive. but still....

My age, when said out loud, is depressing.  But not as depressing as it will sound one year from today...out loud or not.  oh well. like i said...the alternative...

i got two amazing gifts and one lolthisismygift-gift, that i understand why the gift was given but in comparison to the other gifts and who gave them, makes it seem like an lol gift even thought it was a well intentioned gift.  ( i dont keep 'points' for gifts but it's still funny given the other gifts)


i've been into this drink the last few weekends.  cucumber vodka with fresh blended up watermelon and lime juice.  too bad watermelon chunks dont really 'catch' in a blender. you sort of have to push them down with a ladle and hit the button.  too bad it sometimes makes a mess cuz the lid cant really be on when you do that. too bad when you drink a few of these you get impatient with the watermelon blending. too bad you decide to push it down with your knuckles when you hit the blend button. too bad the metal blades takes your knuckle skin off. too bad you bleed really badly from your middle knuckle.  too bad the first thing you yell out loud when this happens is IM A FUCKING IDIOT. too bad you pour the blended watermelon into your drink and it tastes delicious even though you know you're eating your knuckle skin.

(i copied/pasted that from an email that i sent to my good friend Casey who already knows im lazy and i hope he doesnt feel some sort of feeling about this 'violation')

I was cutting another watermelon today and reflected on the fact that it has no seeds and it made me sad.  

When i was a kid, watermelon had these lovely, teardrop shaped/sized slick-black seeds.  (i teared up just writing that sentence) Part of the pavlov's dog response of eating watermelon was that deep pink flesh mottled with those black black seeds with that deep green rind encasing it all.  Such a picture of summer:

Now, they have these all pink flesh watermelons with abortion 'seeds'.  Tiny, white, empty 'casings' that have been sucked dry of their glistening blackness.  Weird empty pods that, if found in your mouth, you search and locate with your tongue.  Upon discovering you at first think it remnants from an earlier meal, chastising yourself that you were lazy in your swallowing.  That you 'missed shit'.  But, then you realize it was only a scientifically genetically repressed glory of an antique watermelon seed.  An 'improvement' to a fruit that was perfect as it was.  Another reminder of the laziness of humans.  Of our endless goal to 'improve' even when things are already perfection.

The joy of spitting out watermelons seeds lost upon generations now and forever.  Is this really an 'improvement'?

It made me sad.

It's my birthday and all i want is watermelons to have their seeds back.  I don't think that's too much to ask.

please love me

and when she smiles..............


MikeAdamson said…
Happy Birthday! I won't claim that it gets better but life has a tendency to surprise when we least expect it.
Happy birthday!!! And oh god I miss those little teardrop fuckers too!

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