night I yelled at a scientist.  I didn't mean to.  She looked like a plain girl.  Just unordinary.  Mousy brown hair, fair enough face but nothing to write on your blog about.  Small frame.  Nice voice.  She was holding a beer and so was I.  When someone told me she was a scientist i asked, "Oh, what do you science?" and she said, "Blood cancers." and i WHOOPS sort of said, straight-faced, "Well, can you work a little faster and harder because in the past month...and even in the past DAYS...a cancer shitstorm has rained down upon many lives around me."  and then i realized maybe since this lady girl woman scientist (she looked 22 years old tbh) didn't really know me that maybe she would be confused and feel like I'm a weirdo (which I clearly am) so I tempered my small 'outburst' with a smile and said, 'sorry, i mean, i just had a 54 year old relative die in their sleep of bone cancer ONE DAY AGO and a friend of mine's wife WHO …
You can't see me but I am in the morning.  This section of the day, that small in-between sliver before the day cracks around me and what I believe could be possible shrinks and pulls back.  I love this part.  It feels like mine.


Kombucha. What is that shit? My 2017 resolution is to not drink any Kombucha. Doing pretty good so far.

I stayed out late on Friday and now I’m sick. Well, to be clear, I ate a Moons Over My Hammy at Denny’s at 2:25 am and then walked about a mile home in ‘almost raining weather’ because when you’re still probably drunk and home seems too close to call an Uber, you decide to walk even though you’re wearing heels. Do you know how fun it is to order a “Moons Over My Hammy” at Denny’s? So fun. The overnight wait staff at Denny’s look like hostages.Anyway, I walked home in the cold without a jacket and eventually I became barefoot on the cold wet pavement. So, my sick could have something to do with that.
Needless to say, I pretty much skipped New Year’s Eve. Was in bed by 11:00.Go me.
I watched a lot of movies this weekend. Binge watched The OA. Wtf with the ending? Still debating what happened. KNEW the movements were choreographed by the Sia guy even before I looked it up.KNEW IT.


Hi Casey,
I’m sorry I haven’t written in so long. I’ve been running and running since I got back from P.S. and I haven’t really stopped. Ow, my legs.  How was your Thanksgiving? I had Steaksgiving.There was lots of meat. Did I tell you this already?I don’t know. I’m old and befuddled. How’s T.F.P. coming? (avoiding releasing any spoilers)I’m feeling good about what I’m doing with M. I have some goals. I feel I am working towards meeting them. Maybe 2017 will be the year I finish my novel. AGAIN. No. It WILL be the year I finish my novel.AND sell it. MOTHERFUCKER.
I’m trying to figure out if all this fat on my stomach is a baby or not. I squeeze it and it seems pretty solidly fat.No room for an infant.Time will tell, I guess.It could be that I’m just waiting around to discover I’m simply overweight.I guess I will ‘do better’ with my body starting soon. New year, new beginnings, and what not.Cliché, but hey.
Well, it’s the end times of a not great year now, isn’t it?Your marriage was a…


Hey God,

Sorry so disrespectful on the salutation, but I have a bone to pick with you. I've been putting up with this menstruation nonsense for way too long and it got me thinking on how you FUCKED US WOMEN OVER on this shit!  I mean, I've been bleeding for about three decades, every month for 5-7 days....OUT OF MY VAGINA...mind you!  That's no joke. Do you know how many pairs of panties that have been ruined due to this 'monthly gift' you gave to us?  Well, I don't have an exact number but I feel you owe me at least $4,000.  BUT THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE!  What I want to do right now is request a CHANGE ORDER on how you construct our female reproductive organal system.

Here's what needs to go down:

You've got this shit all fucking backwards.  It makes me think you hate women. I don't like to believe this but after the period revelation I had this week now I think maybe it's true.  The way you need to make periods is to UNMAKE THE FUCKIN…

Everything I Don't Write Is Full of So Much I Can't Say

I am addicted to cold brew coffee.
I am not wearing this like a badge. I’m just telling you what has recently developed in my life. 
The funny thing is, I had my first cold brew last week and haven’t stopped since.  Cold brew coffee and half n half, no sweetener.  It’s bomb.  So much so, that three days this week I had TWO of them in one day.  Not a good idea, but it was fun while it was happening.  It’s like drugs without drugs. (   I’ve been needing drugs lately.) I even bought a cheap cold-brew ‘system’ which is basically a pitcher with a coffee filter dropped into the middle of it.  I made it for the first time last night. Poured it into my gullet this morning.  So good.
I think this is better than the vodka addiction I usually have.  So, trading up…. (?)

I look forward to weekends now.  I mean, I guess I always did, but now it’s a big red balloon.  It fills and rises first thing Monday morning; what can I do this weekend that will make me have something to look forward to?  What sort…